Letting Go of Toxic Friends

advice, friendship, relationship, Uncategorized

It’s hard to know when a friendship is no longer beneficial to our lives and instead hurting us, because it’s easy to make excuses for people and forget or undermine our own feelings.

Real friends vs. Toxic friends. Image from lifehack.org.

Sometimes we justify friendships because people have been in our lives for as long as we can remember, but this is not a good reason to keep a friendship alive that’s hurting you. If your friend is making you feel bad about yourself, pressuring you to spend an exorbitant amount of time with them, or making you feel like you have to do something that makes you uneasy, you can rest assured the relationship has switched from mutually beneficial to toxic.

Image from lifehack.org.

For reference, good friends build you up, are a source of joy, love, and encouragement, and are people you look forward to interacting with.

Illustration by lumimari. Lumimari.com.

You can pretty much guarantee that friendships are over when you notice any of these signs:

°You are constantly helping your friend out of one mess or another, be I to financial, emotional, or otherwise.

°Your friend depends on you to do almost everything. If he /she wants to go out, it is almost expected that you be there. It’s almost as if you should have no life of your own because you coexist as one entity. If you ever feel like your personal identity is being robbed of you, speak up, and if that doesn’t work, run.

°You are constantly second guessing yourself, walking on eggshells, or feel pressured to do something. Whether your friend’s negative influence be putting you down or encouraging you to engage in substance abuse, it’s time to call it quits if you’re feeling like things are out of your control.

Image from redbubble.com

I learned to let go of toxic friends the hard way. Many times I found myself bending way too much to please others and yielding way too many of my own views and values. Sometimes it seemed like it was too late to get away from a toxic influence. It never is though, make the decision and simply end communication gradually.

It’s best not to go cold turkey but to give the person some sort of warning. Otherwise, the person may lash out at you and lack any understanding of your motives for ending the relationship. Just like any other breakup, the person deserves at least the decency of knowing what went wrong. Try to address the issues but don’t go into any arguments or bitterness so as to not reopen any old feuds.

I wish you the best possible vibes with your friendship breakups. It’s not easy, but it must be done.

Have you ever struggled with letting go of people in your life? Feel free to comment below.

Love and light!


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